


Pining Over Voldermort

by FicklePickleTickle



Series: Lemme see your peacock [2]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Cora's pov, Drunk Stiles, Humor, Oblivious Derek, Oblivious Stiles, Twerking, drunk allison, everyone knows, except cora, pop culture references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-08
Updated: 2015-01-08
Packaged: 2018-03-06 16:19:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3140840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FicklePickleTickle/pseuds/FicklePickleTickle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cora doesn't hate Stiles, okay. She really doesn't. He's just the idiot her brother is head over heels in love with and gets all pathetic over but doesn't take a second look at because apparently Stiles is pining over a Captain Tight Pants. Stiles is fucking weird. Lydia, why are you laughing?  Also, why is Stiles going to girls night. He's not even a girl. Ugh.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pining Over Voldermort

**Author's Note:**

> Here's the second part of this piece of crack. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. This is unbeta'd so all mistakes are my own.

Cora pinched the bridge of her nose suppressing the groan that threaten to bubble out of her. If she had known that “girls night out” included Stiles she would have stayed home. Stiles was obviously not a girl and Lydia’s excuse that he was useful at the bar was just that: an excuse. A really shitty excuse. They didn’t need him to intimidate anyone at the bar. Cora was terrifying enough for everyone. The signature Hale scowl sent the “keep away” message loud and clear.

 

“Cora doesn’t like me.” Stiles whispered like he forgot that Cora was a werewolf and could hear perfectly fine across the living room. Maybe if he’d stopped drinking all the wine that Lydia put in his hands then he would have remembered Cora can hear everything.

 

Lydia looked over at Cora’s stoic face and waved a dismissive hand her way.

 

“She hates everyone, don’t take it personally” Lydia turned back to Stiles, “Now, if you keep moping around like you’ve done for the past three weeks since he-who-must-not-be-named went out with-what was it you called her?” she tapped her finger tip to her chin pretending to try and remember, “Ah yes, The Evil Twat of Mordor. If you keep your moping I will kill you, slowly, intimately, in every way I know you fear. Okay? So get up and go get dressed. There’s clothes in the guest bedroom. _Now._ ”

 

A faint smile on his lips when Lydia channeled her inner Loki. Stiles had opened his mouth to protest more than once but Lydia’s arched eyebrow killed anything that could have come out of his mouth before it even had a chance.

 

What? Cora had watched The Avengers more than once. She had a thing for superheroes. Shut up.

 

“I don’t hate everyone.” Cora mumbled just loud enough for Lydia to hear.

 

It was true. Cora didn’t hate everyone. Everyone was just stupid. Well maybe not everyone, but it was easier to keep them all at arm’s length. It was safer. For her and the morons around her.

 

“Maybe. You have to admit the list of people you _don’t_ hate is shorter than that you do.” Lydia took a drink of her wine.

 

Cora rolled her eyes but didn’t say anything else. Lydia had been supplying Stiles with wine since he marched himself into her house rambling things that didn’t make sense to anyone but Stiles and Lydia. Cora had stopped paying attention after he flailed his way to the couch.

 

Stiles had wobbled his way down the hall and into the spare bedroom with minimum damage to himself and the wall. He kept mumbling to himself about Voldemort and Evil Twats while getting changed.  Cora wanted to laugh, she also wanted to ask who Stiles was talking about. She didn’t do either though. It wasn’t like her to really outwardly care about anyone in Derek’s weird not blood related pack. She didn’t feel like she was really a part of this pack, she was more of an honorary extended member because of Derek, and Derek was the only reason why Cora was making an effort.

 

“Why is he moping?” Cora found herself asking against her better judgment.

 

“Why do you care?” Lydia countered looking at Cora over the rim of her empty wine glass.

 

“I don’t.” Cora shrugged but after a beat she continued in a hushed tone. “I don’t hate him. I don’t particularly like him either.” Cora said crossing her arms over her chest.

 

“Mm hmm,” Lydia poured herself more wine.

 

Cora really hated Lydia right now. Or at least she wanted to. Lydia’s judging eyes made Cora want to justify herself which was insane on it’s own. Cora never justified herself to anyone.

 

Fucking Lydia.

 

“I _don’t_ hate him. He’s just annoying. Always talking about that douche nozzle guy he’s crushing on that is apparently so out of his league they’re not even playing the same game. What ever that means. If he would just get his head out of his ass and pay attention to the asswipe that is in his league and has been pinning him for the most annoyingly long time, then Stiles wouldn’t be like this.” Cora took a deep breath, her eyebrows pinched in frustration.

  
  


She had never been one to rant or show emotion other than annoyance and fury. Her rant almost made it sound like she cared about someone other than Derek. Like maybe she paid more attention to the people around her than she liked to give the impression of. It was very surprising. Maybe Cora only cared because Derek was the annoying asswipe that was pining after stupid Stiles, who in return was pining for Voldemort. Whoever that asswipe was. Stiles was fucking weird.

 

Lydia's cackle brought Cora out of her thoughts.

 

“What's so funny?” Cora demanded, because everyone knew that Cora didn't really ask. She just demanded.

 

“You really have no idea, do you?” Lydia's eyes were wide with disbelief. “It must be a Hale thing then. Or a Stilinski thing. Idiots.”

 

“What the hell are you talking about, Martin?”

 

“Well _Hale_ , Stilinski’s Voldemort is your brother,” She paused thinking the words over, “it might be the wine talking but that actually made sense. Anyway, Stiles is in love with Derek, has been for years now. You cannot tell me you didn't know.”

 

If Cora hadn't been sitting down she would have fallen on her ass in light of this new information.

 

Stiles in in love with Derek. Derek is in love with Stiles

 

“Those fucking morons,” Cora mumbled running her fingers through her hair.

 

“I know!” Lydia flung her arms out in frustration, “You really didn't know?”

 

“Not about Stiles being in love with Derek. I wish I had known though, Derek gets all pathetic when he gets jealous of-well himself.” Cora let out a loud cackle that made Lydia jump. “Those fucking idiots.”

 

“Who are we insulting?” Allison walked into the room with her own wine glass.

 

Lydia really liked wine and wasn't greedy with it. Cora only wish she could get drunk with them without wolfsbane or without drinking a couple of bottles of wine by herself. The wolfsbane always left her dehydrated and it made her head feel like it was filled with a billion cotton balls.

 

“My brother and Stiles, my future brother in law.” Cora grinned.

 

Allison arched an eyebrow at Cora. Lydia grinned so hard her rosy cheeks had to have been hurting.

 

“Isn't he dating The Evil Twat from Hell?” Allison asked.

 

“Mordor.” Lydia corrected.

 

“Who? Jennifer?” Cora rolled her eyes. “That was one time like two months ago. That chick cannot take a hint. She's been blowing up his phone and popping up in unexpected places acting like they’re a couple. She’s so creepy and he’s too much of a chicken shit to tell her to fuck off.  Besides Derek only agreed to go out with her in the first place because he overheard Stiles going on and on about a Captain Tight Pants. Which now I'm assuming, was Derek?” Cora looked at Allison who nodded.

 

Stiles came out of the room wearing the clothes Lydia had chosen for him. Black skinny jeans, a navy blue v-neck shirt that would make Uncle Peter proud and his Star Wars Vans that Cora was not jealous of. Cora looked him up and down. Derek had good taste. Sure, most of the time Stiles looked like a twink with the layers and the plaid (so much plaid), but when Lydia dressed him he looked like a man Cora herself would want to climb like a tree.

 

“Call Kira and Erica, tell them to meet us at Derek’s. He has these amazing lights in his bathroom that would be great for makeup and I left my favorite party dress in one of his spare closets.” Cora said with what she hoped would be an innocent smile.

 

Stiles’s eyes went wide at the mention of Derek and the air smelled of this weird mixture of fear and lust. Cora wanted to laugh and groan at the same time. Stiles got a fear boner at the mere mention of her brother. How did she not notice this before? Lydia was right, she was an idiot.

 

                                                                                                                    88888888888

 

Cora threw the door to Derek’s apartment wide open grinning when Derek rushed out of his bedroom, eyes flashing. His hair was all messy and he was wearing one of his stupid wife beaters and gym shorts. He rolled his eyes so hard at her she thought they were going to just roll out of his head.

 

“What the hell are you doing here Cora?” Derek huffed running a hand through his hair. Judging by his barefootness she guessed he was taking a nap like the old man that he was. “And why the hell are you smiling like that, I didn't think you were capable of making any other facial expression that wasn’t a scowl.”

 

“Like you’re one to talk, asswipe.” she flipped him off, waving the rest of the gang in.

 

“Dickface.” he shot back turning to walk to the kitchen but stopped mid step when Stiles all but fell through the door, Lydia hot on his heels.

 

Derek’s shoulders stiffened as Stiles drunkenly waltzed into the living room flopping on the couch and putting his feet up on the coffee table. A goofy smile on his face when he looked over at Derek. Cora rolled her eyes and jumped on Derek’s back, he made a huffing noise but didn’t throw her off.

 

“You’re an idiot” she whispered in his ear “but you’re my idiot brother and I love you. Idiot.”

 

Derek’s shoulders relaxed at her words and she could see a trace of a smile on his face.

 

“What are you guys doing here? Weren’t you going out or something?” he asked when Cora jumped off his back.

 

Cora couldn’t help the snicker that fell out of her mouth when Derek tried avidly to avoid, and pathetically failed, looking at Stiles. Lydia noticed this too, laughed and pinched his cheek as she made her way to his bathroom with her makeup case in her hand.

  
  
  


“You have the best lighting, Big D.” Stiles said from the couch wiggling in his seat pretending to get comfortable.

 

After Cora had said that Derek wasn’t dating anyone, Stiles’ stupid face had morphed into the goofiest lovesick _thing_ Cora had ever seen. It was disgustingly cute. Not that Cora would ever admit it out loud. It was difficult enough just to admit it to herself.

 

“Don’t call me that.” Derek finally looked over at Stiles and Cora heard the slight acceleration of Derek’s heartbeat. She arched her eyebrow at him, he glared at her (when he was finally able to remove his eyes from the “glory” that was Stiles).

 

How the hell did Stiles not see how far gone Derek was on him? It was painfully obvious.

 

“That doesn’t explain what you’re doing here. In my house. Cora, leave that bottle alone. It’s expensive. Allison, please don’t mess with that.” Derek looked like he was going to start whining any second now. It’s hilarious how not prepared he is to deal with so many people in his space all at once without warning.

 

Cora laughed and poured whiskey for herself while Allison fiddled with the sound system, attaching her ipod to it.

 

Give Derek a couple of trolls and he kicks their asses without batting an eye, but put a portion of his pack in his personal space without warning and he freaks out while standing around like an idiot.

 

“I know it’s expensive Derek, it’s why I’m pouring myself some.” Cora said her voice making it sound like she was explaining something to a child.

 

“Oooooh I love Katy Perry!” Stiles yelled from the couch his arms flailing to the music while his hips wiggled.

 

“Is he drunk?” Derek pointed his thumb at the wiggling nitwit on the couch.

 

“Oh no,” Allison twirled her way to the kitchen while Katy was singing about hearing her roar, “he left Drunk City and stumbled into Wastedville about a bottle of wine ago.”

 

Derek huffed and shot an annoyed look at Allison, who in return giggled. To be fair Allison’s pretty drunk too and drunk Allison loves to giggle. She could probably still incapacitate a man twice her size if she had to. Cora could respect that.

 

Derek pours a glass of water for Stiles and even takes it to him and stands there glaring until Stiles drinks it. It’s so disgusting. Cora has to throw back two more shots just to feel less disgusted by her brother.

 

Maybe it was an excuse to drink her brothers expensive whiskey. Maybe.

 

Stiles leaves his glass on the table licking his lips and looking up at Derek. Derek makes a soft, almost inaudible whimper, that Cora only caught because- duh super hearing- and Cora loses it. She chokes on the whiskey (she’s not spittin’ that shit out, it’s really good quality. Derek does not fuck around with his whiskey) smacks her chest a couple of times and cackles. Allison is still giggling next to her. Cora has tears running down her face holding her stomach.

 

“I told you!” Allison throws her hands up in the air her voice reaching an annoyingly high pitch that makes both Cora and Derek flinch.

 

Cora was about to say something to Allison about her way too loud yapping when **it** happened. First the music started flowing through the speakers.

 

_I wanna see your peacock cock cock, your peacock cock cock_

 

Then Stiles and Allison locked eyes from across the room with the biggest shit eating grin on their faces that Cora has ever seen. Lydia ran from the bathroom in a completely new outfit and her eye make up a little darker than before, there was a matching maniacal grin on her face. They started singing along with Katy Perry.

 

Oh dear God.

 

Cora and Derek looked at each other while the other three people in the room started moving their hips to the music. Derek looked like he was about to pop a coronary. And a boner.

 

_Ugh. Derek._

 

Cora felt embarrassed for him. Not as embarrassed for Lydia and Allison though.

 

Those two were currently standing back to back shimming their way down to the music and Stiles yelling the lyrics at the top of his lungs while swaying his hips like he thought he was Shakira or something. A really bad Shakira. A hobo’s version of Shakira. He made his way to the girls in his trying-too-hard-to-be-provocative way. It made Cora uncomfortable yet it made sense that this would work for some people. Looking over at Derek it was definitely all sorts of provocative for Derek. Cora didn’t resist the urge to roll her eyes at her brother’s not so subtle shifting.

 

“Stop being a biatch.” Lydia and Allison sang and gave Derek a look.

 

Cora lost her shit. Again. Not literally. Don’t be gross. There was no way she wasn’t going to laugh at her brother getting called a biatch for not trying to get into Stiles’ pants. Stiles seemed to be lost in his own little world and kept dancing or whateverthefuck he was doing now. Her uproarious laughter kind of died on her lips as she took in Stiles and Allison while Lydia sang the second verse. Did they choreograph this shit? It looked like they choreographed this.

 

What the hell was going on?

 

Both of them had their backs to Derek and Cora bent over slightly and started shaking their asses. It was disturbing and mesmerizing all at once. Stiles and Allison were just shaking their ass to the music. Just shaking it everywhere, speeding up with the music and honestly, Cora was having a hard time not being attracted to the bouncing asses.  Derek seemed to be having a hard time, period. Cora elbowed him in the gut. Hard. She only elbowed him to try and get him to realize that getting a boner in front of his little sister wasn’t appropriate but Derek didn’t care. He didn’t even growl at her, his eyes glued on Stiles’ backside.

 

“Oh.My.God.” Cora whispered as Stiles lowered his ass shaking to the floor.

 

Derek whined like he was a fucking puppy or something equally pathetic. Cora poured herself some more whiskey. Derek didn’t even bother with the shot glass. He took the bottle from Cora’s hand and took a long drink.

 

“Damn big bro!” Cora whistled, “that booty’s got you like oh my god.”

 

Derek sputtered at Cora’s bad Usher impersonator and she cackled when he was to wipe whiskey from his chin.

 

“What the hell, Cor?” he hissed.

 

“Der, I think it’s the whiskey talking but you need to hit that already. For everyone’s sake.” Cora smacked a kiss on his scruffy cheek.

 

“You know I can’t.” Derek whined and took another long pull of the liquid.

 

“You can. You just won’t. Wanna know why? Cause you’re being a biatch!” Cora singsonged the last part alone with Katy Perry. “Yo! Stiliski! What the fuck is that? And can you teach me?”

 

She walked off before her stupid brother could try and defend himself.

 

Stiles stood up just as the song was ending, a huge grin on his face.

 

“Twerking! Miley Cyrus taught me!” he laughed, “C’mere. it’s really easy.”

 

Cora laughed at his eagerness to teach her that ridiculous ass shaking. It’s amazing how you can go from disliking someone to sharing dance moves in the course of an hour all because apparently it was all just a misunderstanding.

  
Fucking Derek.


End file.
